Conservative intellectuals

  1. Find a group of people who have, for decades or centuries, had shit heaped upon them by society, but who have, in recent months, made some meager progress in having slightly less shit heaped upon them.
  2. Suggest that the meager gains that group has managed to achieve actually represent a grave injustice because a) they represent an infringement upon the rights of the shit-heapers, 2) somewhere, somehow, someone might have managed to figure out a way to take advantage of the fact that slightly less shit was being heaped upon her or him, or 3) all of the above.
  3. Congratulate yourself for the courage you have to stand up in support of a position taken by society for decades or centuries. Leverage your role as a bold iconoclast to secure a job at a right-wing think tank, and then make your living penning books, op-eds, and speeches that make old, rich, white guys like you feel better about themselves.
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